Philosophy minimalism.

If you wish for it, life will give you surprises that you need to rejuvenate.

Indecisive

 Which path is right, and which isn't,
which side is better and which isn't,
why's it not okay to make the wrong choices,
where are those guardian angel voices,
who's to say what path to choose tonight,
when the wrongest of them just feel right,
is that stage really set to show what we know,
why does the dark seem so abominable than the glow

is it okay not to end when i didnt know why i started

Sir Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar

I opened youtube and looked through every video that was dedicated to Sachin. Still doesn't feel complete. Still there feels like a need to watch a little bit more of him. Like there's more to him that we know that would never get covered anywhere. That you can't watch, that has filled up inside, and that can only happen to us who have experienced those amazing years with him and you can't take it out of your mind. I can't believe he won't be there anymore.

Those who think he's just over-hyped and want to compare other great players will not get it. And there's no point even explaining it to them. No amount of videos, words, photos, documentaries can suffice the need to be with him and celebrate those moments. There are good players coming in and there's no void that needs to be filled for a new batsman. Void is there in our own hearts for someone we cheered. For the person who easily took up all the responsibility as his own and we took all his runs as our own. For someone who has gone above the graphs of numbers and records and means something more than just stats and figures. And it is unimaginable to think of someone who is a part of our lives to let go in an instant.

I can sit and watch those impeccable straight drives and cover drives all day with awe and not being able to watch any more of them again kills! I am 24 years old which is just as much as he has played international cricket. Of his 700 International Tests and ODI matches, I, like many others would have seen most of them and we don't want to think of one special innings or one favourite moment. Because living those moments with him has made them more of our own. We feel connected to him and we know that if he could, he would love to play 24 more glorious years for us. Just for us. I don't want to say,  a last ' #ThankYouSachin ' because we really can't thank you enough. Because you already know what we want to say. 

Life will go on. Just, somethings will be left behind and I want it to be that way. We'll always cherish those memories with you Sachin. Have a wonderful life ahead, little master.

Wish to have a life with an awesome story with an effin incredibly inspring soundtrack.

Why?

There are errors,
that will happen as we go.
There are matters,
which linger on our mind,
and we can't let go.
It's literally impossible to go back to them,
it kills us more than we know .. .

?

It's cloudy outside tonight. No rain though.
Just like my thoughts inside currently. Unclear. Dark. Blur.
Phase where everything is okay and I still feel the dullness. In me. Why?
Feels like the thought process needs fresh air. Like there's something stuck somewhere that needs to be cleared out. That is being ignored for quite too long.
Too many things, too many words, too many wishes.. As if I put all of them in a bag and tossed it somewhere in the unconscious.
I am working towards designing products in a better way. Learning where lines have to be crossed to build and where they have to make borders. And in the process, i see my design, my own lines for myself flawed.
There's something that definitely needs to be corrected. I don't know what.
Do i just need time for myself?
Questions. Worries. Aims. Ways.
Maybe there needs to be a change. Or maybe not.

I feel like going for a long run on an early morning. Like really long. Keep running till I find out the answers or get tired and try again next morning.

What am I waiting for ?

Waiting to get a holiday to do so many things.
To tick the long list of todos.
It always feels like it'll all be done soon.
 I'll find time.
 I'll finish them sooner or later.
And they all still stare at me from the pile of all unfinished things cuz of my laziness.
Fuck.

Anne Hathway said a line in dark knight rises.
It was something like.

If you start doing what you have to do, you will never do what you want to.

So true.

Dear songs..

Dear 30gb of collection of songs, i want to talk to you today.
You make me listen to my heartbeat once in a while.
You make me feel the pain that 'they' or everyone else would never understand.
You make me tell the time to slow down.
You make me listen to the wind.
You make me smile in those meaningful verses that talk to me.
You make me believe that for a moment, I understand things way better than others do.
You make me look at the sunshine brighter than the usual.
You make me sing back to you, when there's no way of reaching you.
You make me listen to you when i don't want to listen to anyone else.
You make me walk with you just because i want to hear you a little bit more.
You make me write at times about things i would really want to.
You make me realize it's going to be fine.
You make me think about the universe when I'm in the shower.
You make me scream my frustrations out.
You make me dance that i could lose control.
You make me think about things when there's just slow music.
You make me put my earphones closer and feel nothing else.
You make me realize the beauty of things.
You make me want to touch the first drops of rain by telling me how good it feels.
You make me uncertain about my own philosophy.
You make me create a bond with voices never heard, with people i have never met.
N in all this chaos n confusion,
You make me love, smile, live.
You make me.

Hundred.

This race of hundred,
has always been taught,
to reach that hundred,
how much have we fought,
this system has divided,
us into best average or worst,
in every field ever created,
many wars were won but many lost,
and we battle till the end,
it makes us do things even if we cannot,
as if tryin to reach the top holding a lose thread,
n they say every leap should be your best shot,
everything is forced into this little head,
n then there just occurred a thought,
this bloody race of hundred,
sometimes takes you away too.

incomplete

something's wrong with my 'followers' gadget.. :|
says there are 11 n shows none..
not that im bothered.
but it should worrrrrrrkkkk !
blog looks incomplete.

Anyway,
here's the real incompleteness -

N there will never be a perfect line.

never be perfect words,

never be perfect time,

never be a perfect world,

just a perfect you,

n i ? will be waiting for you to,

correct the imperfect me.

Philosophical mood

Sometimes i feel that i'm some avatar of god sent to change things whenever i see things happening are wrong. The problem is that is that i stil haven't realised my powers. But when i do, i'l be able to save myself. And everyone else too. I'll find the people i love. It'll all be good then. But coming back to reality, there won't come a day when morpheus will come searching for me. i'll have to survive in this real matrix myself. Most of the people won't even care about how sad you are. They'll onle be jealous about how happy you will be. Except a few. Yeah! except a few genuine people. Very important to find such people in life. And if you do, you're so damn lucky. Everybody has their own problems which they keep fightin with so they won't bother much about yours. So its better to be happy with what you have n share the same happiness cuz sorrows don't have a patient listener always. We'll all die one day however famous we get. Being nice or rude to anyone won't matter. Being anything or anyone won't change nature. I mean, nothing is important anyway but every damn thing needs to be done. We'll be forced to do all lot of stuff that we don't want to. And we will also try to do all that we are not allowed to. Everything that starts does have an end. And in the end nothing will remain. Except the love. Except the pain. Except the feelings. Except the change.

I remember my college director's last words of his speech on our farewell. All he wanted to tell us in the end was, ' live abundantly ' .

Find yourself

If one day life makes you start to wonder,

that maybe you shouldn't have been here,

every moment seems impossible to bear,

and all you want to do is stop right there,

n go back to the good times that were,

i want you to know the truth is,

its the best time to start right now,

its alright to be scared,

its okay to be in a sea of doubts,

stop thinking of what went wrong,

keep faith n start a new song,
discover your side that can fight,

i would tell you frankly,

that if you could see through my eyes,

you would see,

its just hidden in you deep inside,

this world is all for your taking,

stop holding yourself back,

rise and shine in this dark hour,

bloom like a morning flower,

come out from staying lost in this crowd,

go out there and break-free out of the shelf,

everything you want will be found,

n all that happens when you find yourself.

Invisible .. .

sometimes i want to be inivisble,
from the world, from the crowd,
a feeling to run away if possible,
and never be found,
but here i am in search of solutions,
without an answer, without a sound,
how much ever i make resolutions,
new problems hunt me down,
n i want to be invisible,
and never be found.

Freedom to happiness.

Its never too late to start,

give your brains and all your heart,

dreams are up there waiting,

you just have to open your wings,

night will soon be gone,

fly through the sun rays at dawn,

live each breath that you take,

glide through the wind flowing against,

problems are the pieces of that ice will break,

cuz of your warmth however quaint,

way for you even the clouds will make,

it will again soon be night,

but then only dreams twinkle their light,

dont stop o' friend worrying about the address,

your will to reach will take you away,

snatch those dreams without any delay,

and win the freedom to your happiness. .

Laptop addiction ..

This really happened today..

Today exams got over. I was feeling a bit weird that i had nothing to do. :P.. So i sat on the sofa n switched on the tv.. I was watchin the same channel on tv for sometime now. Suddenly i thought i should atleast touch the remote or else tv might go on ...... STANDBY.. !!

Joblessness !!

Ok ! M writin this post cuz of 2 reasons. First, my friend Najeeb has changed his “My Followers” gadget’s name to “JOBLESS PEOPLE” in his blog http://thegenius-atwork.blogspot.com/ which has me also under it. First I was irritated when I saw this. But then I started thinking about ‘Joblessness’.

My 4th sem theory exams are just around the corner. They start on 26th June. Nearly 6th months ago, my 3rd sem exams went really bad because i was committed to something else in the middle of the exams. (Well just not something else.. But a grand cricket tournament in mumbai where i went to play because luckily that tournament fell right in middle of 2 exams which had a 6 day gap between them n i had a time of my life playing it even if we did not win :P . Lets get back to the point of the post.) So i should be really serious n focus on studying and try improving my cumulative percentage.

Well that was what i should be doing. N taking a look at what i am really doing these days – Like a totally jobless person I remain online 24 hours(except power cuts n i hate them :( ..) no matter what happens downloading movies, songs, watching youtube videos, sending songs to friends (specially sending the new green day album to every random person who asks) , taking so many facebook quizzes like how sweet or sexy i am, or how bored i am, or how well do i know my friends, or what am i born to do n many others which just happens to be stupid, time wasting n help me get weird comments from my facebook friends . I chat with so many people online(where everyone keeps asking me why am i online all the time.). One of my closest friends who is about to finish his engineering this year once said i’ll watch uncountable number of movies during my engineering period of 4 years. That day I just laughed at him n told him that would soooo not be possible as i’ll be so busy with my engineering studies. Today, i’ve not even finished my 2nd year n the amount of dvds i have containing movies suggest that he was right after all. (By the way please go watch ‘Star trek’ when it releases here in India. I loved it :) .. ) . N most of all m writing such a big post as if i have alllllll the time in the world.

Now the second reason. I was talking to a friend a few days ago and she said this line, “ For the first time i’m feeling like you are talking so truthfully to me and i seem to like it.” I’m trying to be truthful to myself atleast since then. Strangely i dont know why i’m writing it here but I keep very high expectations from myself and since some time now i barely seem to accomplish tasks i give to myself. I HAVE to realise the importance of time (n stop writin this post as soon as possible.. :P ). This post might make some people think i’m just too nerdy but seriously i’ve forgotten to be serious in life.

By the way, why am i writing this post when India is playing its first t20 world cup match !! O crap !

Untitled.

Things that i was sure of, they have filled me up with doubts .. .

Untitled.

Somedays i just cant imagine how LIFE can be more happier, funnier,  cheerful n lovely   .  N sometimes i just wanna run away from it . 

Victim of experience

Weird heading .. But too many things irritating me makin everything go blank .. :(

Why do elders have to be right every time ? I mean they have much more experience about the world than me but Can't I ever have a fair point .. !!

Believe in .. .

When every ray of hope turns into darkness ,

my faith in everything ceases,

every sensation turns grey ,

all the feelings feel like breakin away,

and when i cant hold on to anything ,

give me something to believe in .. .

When I'm crushed to pieces ,

world around me crumbles leaving no traces ,

i think I've totally lost control ,

i look around for some where to go ,

but I'm lost within ,

give me someplace to believe in .. .

Everybody here is a stranger ,

i feel I'm left alone ,

I've become infected to failures ,

only my heart seems to beat along ,

when i am tired of loosing ,

give me someone to believe in .. .

When I'm looking at the house of cards gettin shattered ,

every piece that reminds me of everything that mattered ,

I'll need all the lost cards to again start building ,

one day I'll again start believing .. .

Parents .. .

The people who bring us to this beautiful world ,

with happiness in the eyes which cannot be measured ,

                                                    are  our parents .. .

For whom our first cry and our first breath ,

our first words and our first steps ,

become the most memorable moments ,

                                                     are our parents .. .

In our childhood ,

whose melting eyes speak of love ,

who give a warm smile with a reassuring hug ,

who have a gentle heart and tenderness inside and out ,

who show us what love is all about ,

who are our first teachers ,

who take us to school holding our little fingers ,

who sacrifice their present for our coming future ,

                                                    are our parents .. .

In our teenage ,

who are our lost things finders ,

who are our pocket money givers ,

who always say ,

to choose the right path of success ,

even if it is too long ,

who even may ,

scold us if we are wrong ,

who pay ,

for our requirements without any hesitation ,

who lay ,

the foundation of our future and lead us to perfection ,

                                                    are our parents .. .

When we grow up ,

who enter into their second childhood ,

who now seek our love and care ,

who now even have difficuilty to walk even to the neighbourhood ,

now is the time that ,

we show light to those , who lit up our journey of life ,

we care for those who gave for us every sacrifice ,

we support shoulders of those who once gave us horse rides ,

Because ,

they are the ones who lead us from ,

untruth to truth ,

darkness to light ,

death to immortality ..

Because ,

they are the ones who are our indying support and constant guidance ,

and reason behind our every little success ,

Because ,

they laugh our laughters , shed our tears ,

they return our love and fear our fears ,

they are the most important influence of our life ,

and all that we are and all that we have become ,

is in a way tribute to them no words can suffice .. .

It does not matter ,

that parents are angry or they scold us ,

that parents do not allow us to do some activities ,

that parents suspect us in many ways or disturb us ,

but it does matter ,

that they are our parents ..

Parents are higher than the infinte sky ,

they wer the ones who wer with us in our first breaths ,

so , we have to be with them when they take their last steps ..

A new dawn .. .

Today is like any other day,

but it simply does not feel that way .. .

The air seems to be fresher ,

sun rays seem to bring new rays of hope ,

young leaves seem much greener ,

the birds seem to be singing the loveliest of notes ,

the sky seems more blue than ever ,

the sea seems to be realxing by the shore ,

this beautiful morning tells me to keep going on ,

there is something new about this dawn .. .

Today is like any other day ,

but it simply does not feel that way .. .

With every breath air feels so pure,

my every bit is loving this twilight ,

my voice seems clearer than before ,

my eyes sense everything so bright ,

my heart  beats in the silence the surroundings wore , 

this insane feeling tells me to keep going on ,

there is something new about this dawn .. .

Today is like any other day ,

but it simply does not feel that way .. .

This morning makes me feel there will be never be a dark night ,

i can attain every height i want , 

every path seems to be showered with light ,

i'll search for all the lost cards ,

this inspiration tells me to keep going on ,

there is something new about this dawn .. .

Today is like any other day ,

but it simply does not feel that way .. .